Hand in Darkness by Zoe Parker

Author:Zoe Parker [Parker, Zoe]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-05-14T16:00:00+00:00

10

If I’m being honest with myself, life has fallen into a weird, oddly comfortable pattern. I can’t say I dislike it even though it’s been rather restrictive and thankfully ending. However, this time, most of the restrictions were ones I’ve placed on myself, not king kitty. My little jaunt to papa’s house was the last time I went anywhere that didn’t involve feeding or working on the Hand case. Going there was helpful, even if it hurt. Way more than I realized at first. It also shifted some kind of gear in me. Until then, I think I was just coasting along in neutral, despite what I was telling myself. I’m only in first gear, but I’m making progress, and really, that’s what matters.

It’s time to change some other things around in my life too.

When I got home that afternoon, Voss was waiting with agitated expectation. But instead of explaining anything, I asked him the one burning question on my mind. Could he find out what killed my grandmother? I didn’t even give him a chance to ask questions or share his opinions. I just walked away. He needs to understand that we don’t need to talk every time I do something, that at this stage in our whatever relationship, he doesn’t have the right to demand it.

Maybe I’m just stubborn, but I fought hard to have any type of independence. I’m not giving it up for a phenomenal pair of abs.

That whole shifter mentality of mine, mine, mine, gets rather suffocating at times.

It’s a shifter thing that I don’t understand, and after experiencing a small taste of it, I’m thrilled that I grew out of that particular fantasy. There’s also a flip side to it. If he loved me and tried to be with me for the right reasons and not just running around trying to take over my life, I would probably be more malleable to be with him. Or at least trying harder to build something. But one thing I’ve learned about myself, I don’t like being owned. I don’t like being bossed around. Unless Voss can learn to work with me as a team and not look at me like a possession to control, we’re never going to work.

Although, if I’m being honest, it’s hard to tell him to go away. Not with any actual truth to it.

Voss is a complicated part of my life. In the last six months, I’ve learned that I’m not a jealous person because of him. Sure, some of the female attention he gets is annoying, but it doesn’t anger me. It’s more annoy9ing that we get delayed, or they get in the way. There’s no burning desire to stake my claim and dry hump him publicly–I’ve seen other shifters do it to make a claim. It’s disturbing and, well, funny. I won’t deny that I mostly like him being part of my life. I clash daily with my hormones that want to crawl in bed with him, and being around him sometimes is really nice.

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